Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Randomize
