it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
