i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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