you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
