Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
