Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
