You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
