At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
