i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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