1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
then he tried to convert me to islam
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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