He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
