i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
