i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
