if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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