Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Randomize
