I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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