3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
