There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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