You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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