Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
