ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
