I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize
