Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Randomize
