oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Randomize
