420 ftw
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
