no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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