i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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