can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
