omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
