I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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