Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
