you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Holy sore nipples Batman
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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