Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
