U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
