doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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