You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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