If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
