he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
