How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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