Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
