omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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