I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
