This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
