I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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