Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
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