Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
