apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I understand Curling. That high.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
