Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i wish my penis had a tongue
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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