Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
