Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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