and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
