i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
