hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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