YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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