Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
