how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Randomize
