he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
