MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
